Clerk Best Practices for Managing Difficult Conversations One-on-One and in the Public Form

It goes without saying that people care about the place they call home.

It makes them active, passionate, and opinionated community members with the spirit and conviction to share their ideas, cast their votes, and impact public policy. The passionate spirit of your residents is an admirable characteristic until that spirit becomes dissatisfied and wants to complain. Loudly.

Clerks play a multi-purpose role in their communities. They are the official keeper of public records, meeting taskmasters, agenda organizers, transparency compliance officers, election coordinators, and — oh yeah — customer service representatives for hundreds to millions of residents with questions, concerns, and opinions. You may be a skilled data manager and meeting organizer, but that does not mean your career training included dedicated critical conversation navigation and customer service — yet addressing conflicts and creating positive civic experiences is a critical part of your job responsibilities.

For those moments when you answer the phone to a screaming resident or find yourself attempting to manage a public forum in which tempers are flaring and voices are escalating, we have compiled proven tips from our resident engagement and customer service experts on how to diffuse conflict both one-on-one and in the public forum.

Take a deep breath. Let’s begin.

PART 1: How to Manage Difficult One-on-One Conversations

When you find yourself in a one-on-one phone or in-person conversation with a disgruntled resident, with no one around to support you, the first thing to remember is that the resident’s anger and disappointment are not personal. It can be difficult to bear this in mind when you are on the opposite end of a raised voice, but try not to let their frustration impact how you feel about yourself or your job capabilities.

Why Are You Using Shouty Capitals?

A resident may be expressing emotions that are anything other than pleased and satisfied because they are:

• Angry
• Impatient
• Indecisive
• Stressed
• Emotional

Now, balance the conviction that the resident’s anger is not personal with an understanding that you are a critical representative of your local government administration.

Swallow any temptation to raise your voice in return and manage the conversation with an air of respect and responsibility. With those two keys always in the forefront of your mind, follow these best practices:

Start by Acknowledging their Feelings

The resident may be disappointed about an error that impacted them negatively. Alternatively, they may be frustrated about a policy or initiative in your community to which they disagree.

Whether they are calling about a fact-based issue or a subjective opinion, remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion and feelings. Often, when people are frustrated, more than anything, they want someone in authority to acknowledge those feelings. Rather than beginning with an apology, beginning your response with a statement such as “I understand that you feel (summarize their feelings), and I’m going to (propose a resolution)” tells the resident that you understand them and are going to take action to improve their situation.

Use Your Body Language to Reinforce that You Care

If the conversation occurs in person, maintain eye contact and demonstrate a sincere facial expression. Face the person fully; do not attempt to multi-task or start scrolling through your inbox while they are expressing their concerns. Visually showing you are attentive to their needs will reinforce similar statements that you make.

Give them Time to Express Their Concerns Fully

The goal is not to cut the resident off until they fully explain their issue. It does not mean you must let them keep you on the phone for an hour while they vent, repeatedly expressing the same sentiments. Listen to their story once, and then move on to step four below.

Focus on a Resolution

In addition to wanting someone with authority to acknowledge their feelings, an unhappy resident wants to have their problem fixed promptly. To be successful, your administration will need to have processes and procedures in place to enable you to service various requests. This requirement may mean that you need easy access to all your historical transparency documents and forms or seamless access to your payment processing system to verify payment transactions and reimbursements. Remember that a frustrated resident may already know what they would consider a resolution. If you cannot determine how to help based on what you are hearing, state, “I understand that you feel (summarize their concerns). How can I resolve this for you?”

If You Can Not Provide a Resolution, Help Them Understand the Policy

Unfortunately, in public service, the clerk sometimes cannot resolve all resident concerns. If a resident is angry over a new city initiative or a policy they disagree with, your only recourse will be to (calmly) explain why the policy is in place and how it benefits the community in general. To be successful, work with your communications team to quickly create talking points you can refer to for any topics that frequently involve resident frustrations. Having referenceable talking points will help keep you calm and ensure your messaging is aligned with that of the administration’s leadership.

Understand the Difference Between an Angry Resident and a Disrespectful Resident

No matter how frustrated a person becomes, they never have the right to threaten you or resort to insulting name-calling or profanity. If you ever feel that a resident may threaten you or your administration, speak with your local police or sheriff’s department and let your local law enforcement experts determine if your interaction should be investigated.

After you end a conversation with an angry resident — with a positive resolution — give yourself a brief break to regroup, especially if the conversation rattles you. Get up from your desk, take a short walk outside, or pour yourself a warm cup of calming tea. Let go of any residual frustration or nerves you may be feeling after the conversation, and continue to focus on the vital service you provide to your community.

PART 2: How to Manage Difficult Conversations in the Public Forum

ShapeManaging sensitive issues or navigating conflict in public meetings can be one of the most challenging aspects of creating a successful civic participation strategy. Follow these tips to help ensure your meetings involve constructive exchanges that stimulate respectful two-way dialogue in which as much listening takes place as speaking.

Start by Acknowledging the Resident’s Concerns

An emotionally charged resident wants to be heard. Start your response by acknowledging their feelings. Even if their sentiments are not aligned with the goals of your administration, still acknowledge how they feel. It will be necessary for all others present in the meeting to hear you treat all individuals with respect and courtesy.

Stick to the Facts

When data is available, support your perspective and help others understand it by validating your leadership’s perspective using statistically valid data.

Reasons Residents May Respond to a Discussion Emotionally:

• A situation has hurt them
• They feel threatened by risks they cannot control
• They believe their fundamental beliefs are being challenged
• Convey Sincerity and Trustworthiness.

Residents want to believe that their public servants are making decisions from a place of public interest and good intentions— not from special interests. In all public actions, especially during meetings, ensure all representatives from your administration convey trustworthiness and compassion in everything they say and do. Such transparency and sincerity will help strengthen relationships and build rapport.

Commit to Minimizing Negative Impacts

When relevant, commit to addressing resident concerns by taking steps that will minimize disruptions and result in positive civic experiences. For example, if residents are concerned that a new highway project could harm the environment, commit to working with environmental specialists to take necessary precautions.

Accept Responsibility

If a resident is rightfully distressed about an event or policy that had a proven negative result, acknowledge their feelings, accept responsibility for the events that transpired, and shift the discussion to looking forward to future initiatives, whether they be preventive measures to ensure additional negative results do not occur or corrective measures to mitigate the results of previous issues.

Conclusion

Remember that you cannot control other people’s emotions or feelings—only your own. Never let anyone’s anger or disappointment make you feel that you are not doing your job at the highest level or doing critically valuable work for your community. Our clerks are some of our nation’s most vital resources, and for every resident who calls you to complain, thousands appreciate the work you do every day. So keep calm and carry on.